Hair Pulling 101

I was going through some past experiences today looking for material to post, and I came to the following realization: There is a right way and a wrong way to pull someone's hair.

Thinking back on it, it seems that the people who know how to do it the right way come by it naturally, and the reason for that is that they like doing it for their own gratification. The people who suck at this are the ones who would never think this up on their own and are only doing it in an attempt to make the person who is having their hair pulled happy.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and postulate that most of the readers of this blog are likely to be talented hair-pullers happily yanking away at their partners' lovely locks. On the off-chance that any of you are not, let me take this opportunity to make a few suggestions. After all, if the whole point is only to make your partner happy, you'll want to do a good job at this right?

Basically there are two ways to pull hair correctly. The best way in my opinion is to grab hair in fistfulls as close to the scalp as you can. The closer your hand is to my head, the better. Alternatively, you can twist the hair around your hand a few times and then pull. Obviously this will only work on girls with really long hair. Most trendy hairstyles these days aren't long enough for this to be effective, and frankly, it's better the other way anyway. Do not grab my hair by the very very end of it and pull that way. For one thing, my hair is going to slip out of your hand if you don't get a better grip on it and for another thing, What the hell kind of pussy are you? Really. I should not be able to move my head around without you deliberately relaxing your wrist to allow it. Conversely, you should have enough control over my head to steer it wherever you want it to go.

Next up: you have to let go once in a while. Seriously. This is best for both you and me in the long run. First, if you have the proper grip and are pulling hard enough, your fingers are going to get tired and cramped. You need a rest. Second, if you are pulling on one spot on my head constantly for 20 minutes, my head is going to get numb and I won't feel it anymore. I will also have a splitting headache about a half hour later. I don't want a headache, and trust me, you don't want me around when I have one. Take breaks. Then do it again. It's in everyone's best interest.

Last and most importantly, never NEVER ask me if you are pulling too hard. Just pull my hair and shut the fuck up. You are defeating the whole purpose when you whine "Does this hurt? Do you want me to stop?" YES it hurts, dumbass, that is why I asked you to do it. And if I want you to stop, there's no need to ask because, trust me, you'll know. You'll know because I'll say something like "Not so hard" or "Cut that out" or "OW! WHAT THE FUCK????" If you don't hear something of that nature then you are not pulling too hard. Don't be such a pussy; it is not attractive. If I wanted a pussy I'd go fuck a girl, and I don't allow girls to pull my hair.

This concludes your brief tutorial in the art of erotic hair-pulling. Use this data wisely, grasshopper, and you shall reap many rewards.

Today I am in the mood...

...for a blow job. Actually, yesterday and the preceding two days as well. I can't concentrate on anything: work, the book I'm reading, what I'd like to have for lunch...nothing. It is all consuming and demanding my full attention.

I took a bath last night with my waterproof vibrator and a mind full of various fantasies, but to no avail. In fact, I think I made it worse by trying to live out my imagination with nothing but my own thumb to stick in my mouth.

I called my friend this morning and tried to get him to come over, but he was on his way home from work and had "gone too far in the other direction". I had this vision in my head of dragging him into my room, shoving him down on my mattress, yanking his pants down and sucking him off. Would I have been that bold really? Probably not, he intimidates me via superior experience without ever meaning to, but still he would have let me play (I think), and I might actually be getting some work done right about now. Meanie. Ah, well, more fodder for the bathtub I guess.

Outside of that there is no one else to play with here, and it is tormenting me. How is it exactly that in a world of girls that hate giving blow jobs, there exists a girl who LOVES giving blow jobs and yet she is somehow thwarted at every turn? I find this patently unfair. *sulk*

(Note to J - for the record, when I said you get extra credit for finding the post about you, this is not the post I was referring to. )

Amber's Fantasy

Destroy me.

Make me submit to only your desires. Reduce me till I exist solely for your amusement. Let loose the fire I see in your glare.

I want to be your whore, your fucktoy, the embodiment of your most errant depravity. Tell me what to be; ignore my feeble protests. Push me to the limit of my boundaries and hold me there until I beg to be released.

I am meant to be used. Fuck my mouth until I can't breathe. Hold me down until I can't fight you. Smack me until my skin is raw.

Even now you intimidate me with your experience. The power of you feeds my fear as you relentlessly drive me further from myself and into a place where nothing exists beyond your brutal lust until I lose, finally, my own consciousness and become, utterly, Yours.

Masturbating at Work

Masturbating at work is not an activity I would say I engage in frequently. Investment Consulting is not exactly pornographic, after all. Having said that though, there is something inherently hot about conspiring with one's self to get off at the office.

Right now, as I have a cubicle rather than an office with a door like at my old company, this gets even more appealing, because it requires far more stealth than just the casual closing of the door. You have to be very alert to the sound of people coming by, extremely fast to lessen the chance of being interrupted, and as near to silent as possible so as not to arouse the suspicions of your neighbors. All those factors added together create such an incredible amount of tension. When it is released, there is nothing in the world that compares. I am seeing stars right now.

I just had to share.

Happy SBJ Day!

Happy Steak and Blow Job Day to my favorite boys!

Now then, how would you like that done? ;)

An Exercise With Verbs

Just to see if I could, I tried arranging 32 -ing verbs into a poem that tells a chronological story. Here are the results:

Kissing
touching
stripping
teasing
holding
squeezing
licking
sucking

Tasting
stroking
moving
grinding
grabbing
biting
moaning
fucking

Pulling
smacking
pounding
screaming
clenching
gasping
coming
seeping

Sweating
smiling
talking
kissing
resting
breathing
drifting
sleeping

Hello!

I've finally decided to start a second blog where I can post my more lurid adventures, as well as my fledgling attempts at writing erotica, without having my family accidentally come across it and be scared for life. I hope everyone finds reading it as enjoyable as I find living it. Stay tuned...